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My Story, My Truth, My Secret, and maybe My Goodbye

Equalitee

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NOTICE:
Before you begin to read, I just simply want to start out by saying what I did was entirely wrong, and I regret doing it. A punishment is what I don't want to be sought, but compassion. I don't sought for embarrassment, but forgiveness. I am sorry for all the people I fooled, but this is a guilt that I have been keeping secret for months now.

My super brief story:
On the 18th of August 2013, I first got Minecraft. I begged day after day to get it, and proved myself that I can pay 27 dollars for a game, so then, my mother bought it for me, and I happily got on. The first server I immediately went to was MCSG, because of my obsession with it, and of the Youtubers that I saw play them, more specifically, a more obscure Youtuber, Antastiq. So I played for a long while, and got attached to the servers. So one day, I decided to take it a step forward to sign up in the forums. My first account to many, but this one is my second and main. I mainly signed up because I was so eager to help out with the community by applying for mod, and this is my mistake. So I did all that and got declined.This went on for a couple of mod apps until I got pending, then declined. I then made an app that was actually good and I got interview. Things happened; got declined. Not going into detail, but things happened. Fast forwarding. Got interview the second time, and I got declined. At that point on, I had no effort to go on the servers again. I just was done because I have done over 8-10 applications, and nothing was really gained from. "Just do your best" they said. I enjoyed my experience here, and to actually put into perspective, I actually gained something. Now to the horrible part.

The Truth and Secret:
As I have said before, please do not embarrass me of this, because I am ashamed of this. Sorry for all the ones I deceived and failed by this thread. I'm writing this because of the guilt that it has brought me. Ok, so here it is. The thing that I have been hiding since last year. I'm not 14. Yep, there you have it. If you know me, then I'm sorry. So sorry what deception I have brought to you. I never meant it to be that way. When I decided to do that, I put my will in front of my honour and my dignity, and I beat myself up for that. I am so sorry. I wish that I wouldn't have to face consequences, but I feel that is what should happen. I ask that you don't punish, for I feel as if I can redeem myself, but I guess that is the cost of mistakes. Right now it feels good that I lot go of that, and all I want below is support. It took a lot of guts to write this and I just want support. Again, please don't punish me severely. Maybe to never submit an application here, but I'm ok with that, because I realized what endeavors I should do which is more important; the endeavors that I sought for is the ones that are not on Earth. They can't be stolen, damaged, lost, et cetera. Its endeavors that I want to save myself. To save.

The Goodbye:
Now that I have told over 200,000+ my secret, I guess this is goodbye. Don't expect to see me a lot. I might just in all. I might stop by once in a while, but thats it. I'm ashamed about what I have done. A permanent ban is not what I'm asking for. I'm just asking for forgiveness. Well, I guess I should list the people that made my MCSG experience great:
ChadTheDJ: Oh Chad! How would my experience be if you didn't make these servers. Thank you for making these servers and making an almost impossible dream back then a reality

AlpakaWhacker: You really made me laugh at times Jamie! You brought life into me and really helped me apply after what happened. Even though I'm leaving, I'm still counting on you to get Turris Tremores on the servers with VIP and all that stuff ;D.

Mooclan: Oh Alex, what can I say? You were probably the closest friend I had on MCGN. You helped me when I was at the worst and at the peak of myself. A long road we took together as friends. I helped you and you helped me. What I can say about you can go to the infinitum of how many numbers are between 0 and 1. All I can say is that you are practically the most trustworthy friend I can ask for.

Vanicle: Who other than Vanicle? You were basically the saviour of my mod road. If it weren't for you, I might have not gone super far. Thank you for what you done.

And to every single community member out there that were not mentioned, thank you for what you have given me. A server to go to when nothing was right. Thank you

I love you all. Every single one of you. The last of me has been seen. I love you.




This was XDBFplaysGamesX, otherwise known as Daniel here. Over and out.
Thank you for sharing your story with us!

On more of a side note, I will have you know that I am also a victim of a guilty conscience. I have lied to many, many people within the MCGamer Network, but I felt like it was with good reason and intentions. I lied about who I was because I felt that me lying was nothing compared to what I could provide to the community; a voice of support and understanding, as well as, a more positive atmosphere. I still stand by it today and I regret nothing because it has been what has got me here today and it has been able to make me a stronger person. In other words, our lives are built on our mistakes, as much as our successes.

I really, really hope that you do not leave. Based off of what I have read, your intentions are nothing but pure. You are the type of person that the Staff Team needs; someone with never-ending dedication and who is willing to put themselves in awkward situations for the better sake of the community. It is people like you, people who can share their personal stories and lessons with others, that can help make a positive impact on the lives of so many other people in and outside of this community. Being able to share your personal stories and lessons allows for others to understand and learn from them. Who knows, by sharing these experiences with others, you may save someone else all the pain and suffering you have suffered. Also, by opening up, and admitting to your lies, makes you a much, much better and stronger person. Not everyone is capable of doing so.

All-in-all, I support your decisions and your reasonings. This is just a moment of growth for you.

With love and support,

Equalitee | Christopher.
 

JaviGBU

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All people lie , don't worry . I hope this is not your goodbye :)
 

Freshly

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As most members have stated, it takes a true person to confess on something they've done wrong. Also, being that you helped the community out in various ways definitely is something other look up. You had much courage to help out new members of the community which is what makes the members of MCGamer so special. Hopefully, if you do choose to leave, you're leaving with many good memories at hand <3
 

redikus

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This thread was really touching...I hope you will get the mod rank soon. People make mistakes don't worry. We will always love you.
 

Scott

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Daniel, we all have our secrets and we have all told lies. I'm not going to judge you for saying you were 14. In the long run, that doesn't matter - what matters is that you had the courage to tell the truth and apologize. You're a great person and that's one reason why I kept encouraging you to apply for moderator. You truly care about the community and I really admire that about you. Hopefully we'll see you back very soon, possibly even in the MCG Applications section. Let me know if you need anything, I'm only a click away. :)
You have your way with words OMG.

It's great you apologized. We all make mistakes, and we all tell lies. I have told lies and boy have I had my great share of mistakes. The thing is I don't regret them, and that's because I know that I have learned from them. If you have learned from this, and choose not to do this again then that's all that matters. Good luck dude, see ya around!
 

YourAverageTiger

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"It takes a big man to admit, and a bigger man to apologize."
I've always respected you from the start, but my respect for you now is unimaginable. It really does make me happy when people are not afraid to apologize and admit. I do hope you come back. People, as you can see, have no problem with it.

Everyone lies and has his dark side. It is a part of human nature.
 

Mooclan

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Daniel, I've said this before through DMs, but I would like to reinforce what I said, along with everyone else on this thread.

As we all know, what you did wasn't right. However, it wasn't something that is completely absurd and merits punishment. You've learned your lesson, and you've given yourself a slap on the hand through your guilty conscience. That is your punishment, and probably the only one you'll get. Guilt. But now that you've gone through the process of admitting to and apologizing for your mistake, you can stop beating yourself up over it. It's done, the error has been cleared up, and the war within yourself is over. After a war comes the period of time in which you need to build yourself back up, and dust yourself off before continuing on.
And we're here to help you with that, if you are willing to allow us. :) You have many people in this community who are more than willing to help and support you. And, should you leave MCG, I'm sure that you can find others who are also willing to support you in whatever you do. Whether it's as a friend, a role model, a family member, or even someone who gives you a goal that you want to reach.

Take this experience and use it as a lesson in your life. Turn it into something greater - allow it to make you into a better person as you grow up. Mistakes shape us into who we become. I certainly hope that this one helps you grow up to be a person of integrity and honesty.

You have my best wishes, Daniel. Good luck. :)
 

Giggity69Goo

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I mean you don't sound younger than 14 at all when you write, so that's really nice. I am proud that you had the courage to tell everyone the truth and to not just keep it in like you have been doing! It's really brave of you :) cheers
 
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Daniel, we all have our secrets and we have all told lies. I'm not going to judge you for saying you were 14. In the long run, that doesn't matter - what matters is that you had the courage to tell the truth and apologize. You're a great person and that's one reason why I kept encouraging you to apply for moderator. You truly care about the community and I really admire that about you. Hopefully we'll see you back very soon, possibly even in the MCG Applications section. Let me know if you need anything, I'm only a click away. :)
Thank you so much for understanding. But here is the saddest thing that I never put in the thread: No matter how good my application will be, the only thing Senior Staff might only pay attention to, besides the hypotheticals, is my age. My age is a number you wouldn't believe would be of me. No guessing games. Only 2 know my real age. And if I do ever need you, I will PM you.
This is actually quite admirable, especially in light of the fact it is usually tough to take off a mask and reveal your true self. Lots of respect for you, mate, regardless of how old you are.
Thank you bro <3.
I was once told this by a friend who help me keep going in life. He said "The first step to forgiveness is admitting what you've done and expect consequence.", you my friend have just done the first part of getting forgiven, (which I don't think you need to be forgiven) now you just hope everyone forgives you! By the way, even though I don't know you, I forgive you!
Thanks for forgiving me <3. Again, thank you for understanding.
It's one thing to lie for personal gain, it's another to lie so you can try to make a difference, which is what it seems you were doing. You could have always applied for an age exception, though! I understand the process may have been more vigorous but you seemed like the kind of person who could have dealt with it.
Hopefully you don't go completely, you'll be missed around here c:
I'm glad you understand me, the lying thing at least, but here is the super sad part: not even an age exception would've gotten me past pending. Thats why I lied in my mod app which I beat myself up for.
I literally teared up because of this. Daniel, you're an amazing person and even if you did lie, you weren't doing it for personal gain, you were doing to change a community and that is what I am admiring about you. Even if this is your final sayonara, hopefully you can come back and people can see you with a bright red. :D

Edit: Etos - I think what Ceroria meant was when there were age exceptions still because Daniel applied for mod before there weren't anymore age exceptions.
I can't believe you teared up at my thread. Thats a first. And maybe one day, in a year or two, I can make a comeback here, but at that point on, I would be for other endeavors
Thank you for sharing your story with us!

On more of a side note, I will have you know that I am also a victim of a guilty conscience. I have lied to many, many people within the MCGamer Network, but I felt like it was with good reason and intentions. I lied about who I was because I felt that me lying was nothing compared to what I could provide to the community; a voice of support and understanding, as well as, a more positive atmosphere. I still stand by it today and I regret nothing because it has been what has got me here today and it has been able to make me a stronger person. In other words, our lives are built on our mistakes, as much as our successes.

I really, really hope that you do not leave. Based off of what I have read, your intentions are nothing but pure. You are the type of person that the Staff Team needs; someone with never-ending dedication and who is willing to put themselves in awkward situations for the better sake of the community. It is people like you, people who can share their personal stories and lessons with others, that can help make a positive impact on the lives of so many other people in and outside of this community. Being able to share your personal stories and lessons allows for others to understand and learn from them. Who knows, by sharing these experiences with others, you may save someone else all the pain and suffering you have suffered. Also, by opening up, and admitting to your lies, makes you a much, much better and stronger person. Not everyone is capable of doing so.

All-in-all, I support your decisions and your reasonings. This is just a moment of growth for you.

With love and support,

Equalitee | Christopher.
Your post really touched me. It really did. Thank you for understanding, nd actually, frankly, I can relate to you, but in my POV, it happened to me in the reality. I understand how your feel. And your right. Maybe I can use these experiences to prevent others from making the same mistake I did.
All people lie , don't worry . I hope this is not your goodbye :)
Thank you. Maybe its my goodbye, maybe it isn't :D :(

As most members have stated, it takes a true person to confess on something they've done wrong. Also, being that you helped the community out in various ways definitely is something other look up. You had much courage to help out new members of the community which is what makes the members of MCGamer so special. Hopefully, if you do choose to leave, you're leaving with many good memories at hand <3
Thank you for understanding
This thread was really touching...I hope you will get the mod rank soon. People make mistakes don't worry. We will always love you.
Thank you for that. ME, getting the mod rank soon? Sadly, if MCSG lowers their age limit from 14, or brings back a revamped age exception, then that won't ever happen ;___:. I made a mistake, and I accept. I love you too <3.
You have your way with words OMG.

It's great you apologized. We all make mistakes, and we all tell lies. I have told lies and boy have I had my great share of mistakes. The thing is I don't regret them, and that's because I know that I have learned from them. If you have learned from this, and choose not to do this again then that's all that matters. Good luck dude, see ya around!
Thanks <3.
"It takes a big man to admit, and a bigger man to apologize."
I've always respected you from the start, but my respect for you now is unimaginable. It really does make me happy when people are not afraid to apologize and admit. I do hope you come back. People, as you can see, have no problem with it.

Everyone lies and has his dark side. It is a part of human nature.
This made me tear up a lot. You make me swell up inside with honour and dignity in the that first sentence alone. Thank you. And I'm glad that my choices make you happy. Maybe I'll see you around, maybe I won't :(
Yes, I am well aware of that. But when he applied, age exceptions were still offered... c:
Again, not even an age exception would have gotten me anywhere near pending :(.
Daniel, I've said this before through DMs, but I would like to reinforce what I said, along with everyone else on this thread.

As we all know, what you did wasn't right. However, it wasn't something that is completely absurd and merits punishment. You've learned your lesson, and you've given yourself a slap on the hand through your guilty conscience. That is your punishment, and probably the only one you'll get. Guilt. But now that you've gone through the process of admitting to and apologizing for your mistake, you can stop beating yourself up over it. It's done, the error has been cleared up, and the war within yourself is over. After a war comes the period of time in which you need to build yourself back up, and dust yourself off before continuing on.
And we're here to help you with that, if you are willing to allow us. :) You have many people in this community who are more than willing to help and support you. And, should you leave MCG, I'm sure that you can find others who are also willing to support you in whatever you do. Whether it's as a friend, a role model, a family member, or even someone who gives you a goal that you want to reach.

Take this experience and use it as a lesson in your life. Turn it into something greater - allow it to make you into a better person as you grow up. Mistakes shape us into who we become. I certainly hope that this one helps you grow up to be a person of integrity and honesty.

You have my best wishes, Daniel. Good luck. :)
This one made me cry the most ;_________:. Your right. You are most definitely right. My punishment was guilt, and I gotten my share of that, you bet. And again, your right. Maybe the one who dwells above made this happen to use a lesson. To shape me to prevent others to fall into the trap of envy and pride. Your absolutely right. Thank you for being there for me when I needed you the most.
I mean you don't sound younger than 14 at all when you write, so that's really nice. I am proud that you had the courage to tell everyone the truth and to not just keep it in like you have been doing! It's really brave of you :) cheers
Thank you man <3. IF you heard my age, you would be so damn surprised. Like, seriously

______________________________
So, a lot of you may be wondering," Hey, why is this dude not gone. He said toodles, so why he come back" or "Hmm... He's back... crap." or for many of you "Huh! My juicebox isn't around in my desk." Whatever it is your thinking, I'll tell you why. I came back to reply to this thread because I was curious. And I wanted to see the support. I needed it.


 
N

Nikola

Guest
Dear fellow ex Sr. Mod Daniel,

I'm saying this from the bottom of my heart. You are the most mature -- year old I have ever met in my life. I hardly believe I will ever meet a -- year old individual as mature as you are. Remember that mistakes are something great if the certain person is honest enough to admit them and willing to learn from them. On Valiant you got promoted to Sr. Mod, do you understand what that means? Most of the administrative staff couldn't figure out that you are -- because of your maturity. Remember, that I will be there for you anytime just hit me up on private messages. If this is your goodbye then I wish you luck in your future endeavours.
 
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