Jazza
Experienced
- Joined
- Apr 24, 2014
- Messages
- 225
- Reaction score
- 258
Hey guys.
I've recently come to a final decision to post this thread as i've been questioning whether or not it'll be taken into consideration or even if it'll be relevant on the forums but i've made this decision purely because of the fact that grief can never leave your life. You just have to attempt to overcome and cope with it. Which is the exact equivalent of me having been told (Not using the word 'diagnosed' because it wasn't really a diagnosis, more of an unexpected finding) when I was born that I had asthma which basically means that you have difficulties breathing at random times, whether it'd be around dust, smoke, long distance running etc. as well as I had an infected left lung. But I have to deal with it in anyway I can, whether it'd be occupying myself with my hobbies, personally thinking about it etc. And i'm living with glee everyday with support from everyone.
But this thread isn't about asthma. It isn't about infected left lungs but more of a thread discussing in different ways of how I personally deal/cope with grief and how not to give up with life. Feel free to post below stating how you deal with grief if you've ever come across it yet.
+-+
So let's date back to the 21st of August 2015. Nothing out of the ordinary happened. The day was as normal as it gets - talking on Teamspeak with friends of mine, moderating, YouTube videos etc, until exactly 3:30pm that I logged onto Facebook and I had seen a message come from my best friend's account. (Note that this friend of mine has been in contact with me since kindergarten. He was basically a brother to me and always will be.) So I saw the message and it read -
"Hey, (Insert Jazza's IRL name here). We're in a midst of depression now, purely because of the fact that (Insert Jazza's kindergarten friend name here) has made the unforgettable decision that his best way to cope with life was to do it with a rope around his neck. He thought no one had ever taken him seriously or even noticed him at times and he thought his time was up. I'm terribly sorry for informing you on such short notice. But his kindergarten friend should be atleast one of the first people to get notified of this. This is (Insert Jazza's kindergarten friend name here)'s mother if you needed that information. Once again, we're tragically sorry to be breaking the news to you at such an awkward time."
To make a very long story short, I cried for hours and to this day I still do cry at times. I joined an empty Teamspeak channel to relieve my feelings when one my very very close friend to this day, Lilbub, joined and immediately asked if she should create a private channel to discuss this. I quietly said "Please do." and she did it without hesitation. I boldly explained what was currently happening and she honestly gave me some of the best, if not, the best advice to look out for. One of the things she told me that I thoroughly remember is that funerals aren't about mourning the dead, but a celebration of life.
For the next few hours, she thought about decisions I should make as staff member. Mostly whether to take an LoA (Leave of Absence) or not. I was voting no because of the fact that I would never want to attend my "brother from another mother"'s funeral. I would never want to see his body in a casket. But she fully insisted and gave bold answers as to why I should. And she indeed convinced me, but I insisted on just a few days on leave. But right as she was saying more points about that, I had to leave for a few minutes to actually confidently cope with the fact that he's dead and he's not coming back. But when I came back, I spotted from the corner of my eye a private message from Nick, insisting on going on a LoA for a week with his permission. And I honestly can't thank him enough for making that decision for me. It was the right decision.
Ever since then, i've been living the best moments of my life as of now. Online friends and IRL friends supporting me throughout this dark phase of my life, spending quality time with (Insert Jazza's kindergarten friend name here)'s family before they suddenly leave the earth. And even though he's up in the skies, I know he'd want me to have a good time down here.
+-+
Just a few notes before we end off with the thread.
Grief can be a rollercoaster. There's a ton of twists and turns that are unexpected. You'll be filled with different kinds of emotions, whether it'd be fear, sadness, shock, anger, guilt etc. And you'll feel as if nothing will ever change. But something will.
Even if you don't notice it, your close friends and family(ies) will suddenly be there for you. They'll tell you about how they coped with this type of issue as everyone goes through this stage in life. It doesn't have to be suicide related, but even a sudden death is unbearable. Everyone around you (hopefully) will give their solid condolences to you and pray that your emotional and physical health will get better sooner or later.
Everyone on this world is on the same rollercoaster. It's just a matter of what certain time people get to the peak of it.
+-+
Just a small acknowledgement to Lilbub and Nick for donating their precious time to comfort me and to convince me to make the right decision as no one can make a decision for you. You guys honestly emotionally and physically made me feel like I meant something to you. And I really cannot thank you enough and i'm glad to have become close friends with you. You're like a caring brother and sister to me nowadays. Except i'm not Australian (sad face)
TL;DR - When you find that one of your close friends passes away, they would never want to see you cry. They'd want you to comfort the ones close to you, as you never know when they'll be gone as well. It could be today, 39 days, a decade away from now. You can never predict the unpredictable. But you can sometimes expect the unexpected.
Please take note that this thread was emotionally hard to make. I miss him, and always will. So please, as a request, be considerate when posting.
Have a fantastic day. As well as tomorrow, and the day after, and the day after that, and then after, and after.
<3
I've recently come to a final decision to post this thread as i've been questioning whether or not it'll be taken into consideration or even if it'll be relevant on the forums but i've made this decision purely because of the fact that grief can never leave your life. You just have to attempt to overcome and cope with it. Which is the exact equivalent of me having been told (Not using the word 'diagnosed' because it wasn't really a diagnosis, more of an unexpected finding) when I was born that I had asthma which basically means that you have difficulties breathing at random times, whether it'd be around dust, smoke, long distance running etc. as well as I had an infected left lung. But I have to deal with it in anyway I can, whether it'd be occupying myself with my hobbies, personally thinking about it etc. And i'm living with glee everyday with support from everyone.
But this thread isn't about asthma. It isn't about infected left lungs but more of a thread discussing in different ways of how I personally deal/cope with grief and how not to give up with life. Feel free to post below stating how you deal with grief if you've ever come across it yet.
+-+
So let's date back to the 21st of August 2015. Nothing out of the ordinary happened. The day was as normal as it gets - talking on Teamspeak with friends of mine, moderating, YouTube videos etc, until exactly 3:30pm that I logged onto Facebook and I had seen a message come from my best friend's account. (Note that this friend of mine has been in contact with me since kindergarten. He was basically a brother to me and always will be.) So I saw the message and it read -
"Hey, (Insert Jazza's IRL name here). We're in a midst of depression now, purely because of the fact that (Insert Jazza's kindergarten friend name here) has made the unforgettable decision that his best way to cope with life was to do it with a rope around his neck. He thought no one had ever taken him seriously or even noticed him at times and he thought his time was up. I'm terribly sorry for informing you on such short notice. But his kindergarten friend should be atleast one of the first people to get notified of this. This is (Insert Jazza's kindergarten friend name here)'s mother if you needed that information. Once again, we're tragically sorry to be breaking the news to you at such an awkward time."
To make a very long story short, I cried for hours and to this day I still do cry at times. I joined an empty Teamspeak channel to relieve my feelings when one my very very close friend to this day, Lilbub, joined and immediately asked if she should create a private channel to discuss this. I quietly said "Please do." and she did it without hesitation. I boldly explained what was currently happening and she honestly gave me some of the best, if not, the best advice to look out for. One of the things she told me that I thoroughly remember is that funerals aren't about mourning the dead, but a celebration of life.
For the next few hours, she thought about decisions I should make as staff member. Mostly whether to take an LoA (Leave of Absence) or not. I was voting no because of the fact that I would never want to attend my "brother from another mother"'s funeral. I would never want to see his body in a casket. But she fully insisted and gave bold answers as to why I should. And she indeed convinced me, but I insisted on just a few days on leave. But right as she was saying more points about that, I had to leave for a few minutes to actually confidently cope with the fact that he's dead and he's not coming back. But when I came back, I spotted from the corner of my eye a private message from Nick, insisting on going on a LoA for a week with his permission. And I honestly can't thank him enough for making that decision for me. It was the right decision.
Ever since then, i've been living the best moments of my life as of now. Online friends and IRL friends supporting me throughout this dark phase of my life, spending quality time with (Insert Jazza's kindergarten friend name here)'s family before they suddenly leave the earth. And even though he's up in the skies, I know he'd want me to have a good time down here.
+-+
Just a few notes before we end off with the thread.
Grief can be a rollercoaster. There's a ton of twists and turns that are unexpected. You'll be filled with different kinds of emotions, whether it'd be fear, sadness, shock, anger, guilt etc. And you'll feel as if nothing will ever change. But something will.
Even if you don't notice it, your close friends and family(ies) will suddenly be there for you. They'll tell you about how they coped with this type of issue as everyone goes through this stage in life. It doesn't have to be suicide related, but even a sudden death is unbearable. Everyone around you (hopefully) will give their solid condolences to you and pray that your emotional and physical health will get better sooner or later.
Everyone on this world is on the same rollercoaster. It's just a matter of what certain time people get to the peak of it.
+-+
Just a small acknowledgement to Lilbub and Nick for donating their precious time to comfort me and to convince me to make the right decision as no one can make a decision for you. You guys honestly emotionally and physically made me feel like I meant something to you. And I really cannot thank you enough and i'm glad to have become close friends with you. You're like a caring brother and sister to me nowadays. Except i'm not Australian (sad face)
TL;DR - When you find that one of your close friends passes away, they would never want to see you cry. They'd want you to comfort the ones close to you, as you never know when they'll be gone as well. It could be today, 39 days, a decade away from now. You can never predict the unpredictable. But you can sometimes expect the unexpected.
Please take note that this thread was emotionally hard to make. I miss him, and always will. So please, as a request, be considerate when posting.
Have a fantastic day. As well as tomorrow, and the day after, and the day after that, and then after, and after.
<3
