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A Derpy Guide (Part 1)

leMaCderp

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First of all, this is for those people and my friends who think I'm ''pro'' when I'm actually not, just having a decent connection, decent tactics and skills. Ironically, being a veteran player, this will be my first thread. #OffTopic. Let's get to what we came here for.

There are three segments of a normal game - The Pre-Game, which is the first five minutes, the mid-game, which is first 6 minutes till chest refills, and the end-game, which is the first night till the end. Do remember that some games don't even have a end-game due to hackers or tryhards. Or even a mid-game.

There are also three important skills you need to possess to be a fairly decent player - Technique, Creativity and the power of Narwhals. Do not be offended if you are a fan of whale or a dolphin, deal with it. Narwhals are way kooler... #OffTopicX2

Anyway, every game starts off with you spawned next to corn, with 23 tributes who want to kill you. Or basically get killed. You have two options - Run for your chest route or grab a few chests at the centre. In Breeze Island, yo u can punch people as you swim the short route to the chests. It will slow them down, but not you as you're in the water, not sprinting. (Unless you hack). I have seen a lot of ''Don't spawnkill or chase somebody over nothing!'' threads. It is actually genuine, I can also tell you why. Firstly, by spawn killing, you are limiting your chances to get a lot of chests if you have already planned a chest route. Secondly, you waste precious time and your needs, such as your hunger bar and health. Without a healthy stomach, you will starve. You also have the chance of another tribute swooping in and stealing your aspired kill. Seconds later, you're also probably screwed. There, you wasted your time and you paid the ultimate price. I learnt it the hard way, it's fine if you made that mistake.

Making a chest route is also important. If you don't have a chest route, download the maps on SinglePlayer and study routes. It doesn't matter the Tier, as Tier 1 gives you weapons, and Tier 2s give you armor and food. (Getting a weapon in Tier 2 is under 20%) It would be much better to know where to go rather than wander lost and find yourself hungry, helpless and half-dead. Also, back-up routes are also obligatory, in case your route has been taken. You do not want to get sc**wed over.

Great! You survived the first five minutes (If you did) and you probably have decent loots (Or non). If you have non, I recommend typing /suicide if you're lazy. Or just roam around freely and find chests for the necessary loots. This is the mid-game, and things can get more arduous. By now, there is a chance of a decked tribute with a robust sword that will kill you in a couple of hits. At this stage, if you have finished your deadbeat search for loots, it's your time to use it against the enemy. If you do not have a sword, please type /suicide if you're lazy. Or just roam around freely and find chests for the necessary weapon. My father's mother's grandson once said : A wooden axe is better than your bare hands. If you're going to tickle the enemy with a feather, kindly please exterminate yourself with such stupidity. Change your Throw Key to ''P'' (Recommended) as the game is the most intense at this point. Most tributes die at this period and be the slayer, not the fallen victims. Use whatever you have to it's fulfilled use. Such as flint and steel and a bow with a few arrows. You could set your opponent on fire (etc.) or knock them away with your trusty fishing rod. Secondary weapons can save your life or derive them of a life. PvP is the climax at this point, and you need to get out into the ''arena'' and #KillAllTheTributes! If you die, please read this thread again and proceed. If you make it out alive, and chests are going to be renewed, hide somewhere such as in a tree, water, a wall or behind a sheep. Creativity! Crouch behind it, and if one emerges from the shadows, in an attempt to secure the centre, ambush him if you can. If you see a team, you could try to kill them both. Deriving a new player of his hard-earned piece of wheat can also enable you to craft bread.

(If there is even a end-game) Amazing! You survived the onslaught of the pre and mid-game. Now you need to be a sneaky rat or a menacing tiger fervent for its prey. Be the hunted, or the hunter. This is where sh*t stops getting real, and it's a treacherous search for life for DeathMatch to initiate or an elongate 17 minutes boredom session. At this period, you probably may not need any items, but robbing the chests of important items is crucial. Now, you can be a surepititious camper or a hunter for innocent lives. Ambushing the enemy is a technique that most new players do, which is highly ineffective unless you are patient. However, if you get spotted, you're dead. Especially when a team saunters into the scene of life or death. You can also pray to the Narwhal Gods - Nick and Megan. They will save you. If you die, please blame your lack of dedication to the holy gods of Narwhalia. (It's a city, just not in the world map) Or, just type /suicide so you can ''fly'' to the gods of Narwhalia and tell them to sponsor you. Which, I personally doubt will happen, unless you're a narwhal. A narwhal human. NarwhalHuman. NarHuman. Hunarwhal. #OffTopicX3

DeathMatch. This is where the fight gets on. If there are 3+ players, make the remaining two fight each other, jump in and kill them both, or kill one of them. If you get chased or teamed, use some techniques listed below. Useless fact : Flint and steel is back on DM! And DeathMatch running space decreases over time.

Link for Part 2 : http://www.minecraftsurvivalgames.com/threads/a-derpy-guide-part-2.30253/
 

leMaCderp

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I love narwhals. Nick influence power : 9001.9001900190019001
 

MalciasX

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Sorry, I just don't like narwwhals. They're creepy. There like underwater, obese, unicorns. Just.... weird.
 

LegendofCharks

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My father's mother's grandson? ...... I'll assume it's you or your brother..... if you have one.
 

sionghwee

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father's mother's grandson thats is LeMaCderp and i cracked his name. He is a mac in real life thats why he has a decent connection D:
 

leMaCderp

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Not true.
Magnus is my first name and C is the first letter of my sir name.
le = The
Derp = Derp
 

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