Sanders
Team Helix
- Joined
- May 27, 2013
- Messages
- 723
- Reaction score
- 2,556
Hi all,
So my resignation may come as a surprise to you all considering that I came back as a staff member not even a week ago. But I can assure you all that it is with good reason.
I originally resigned as a moderator a couple of months ago to dedicate more time to the build team that I lead, Team Helix. Back then I did not write a letter as my intentions were to come back, which I did, and thus I will try to include the letter that I wanted to write back then in this one.
I want to make clear that it is not my intention to hurt or damage anyones feelings or reputation, and thus I have left anyone involved in this story (excluding myself) anonymous. Anything said in this letter should be seen as my personal opinion.
After some time I missed the staff team action and decided to re-apply. Generally because I missed some of my friends there and wanted to have fun with them once again. I got declined once but quickly improved my application and eventually got to the interview stage. When I got to do my interview I was very nervous (it was even worse than prior to my first interview), but with seven Sr. Staff members in my interview I eventually passed my interview to become a moderator once again. I would like to thank all seven of them once again as they were ultimately the once that gave me the chance to have a new term as a staff member.
However during my interview I realised that I didn't know most of the Sr. staff members in my interview, which later made me realise that the people that I used to moderate, play games and have fun with had left the staff team long before I had written my new moderator application. This was one of the reasons that made me resign from my moderator position.
After joining the staff team I was asked to come on teamspeak once again to speak to a member of Sr. Staff. I joined on my phone to talk to this person. But after some valid statements regarding staff matters, I found myself in a conversation where I was down-talked (if that's the correct term) and portrayed as a arrogant, disrespectful person that had shown signs of having attitude problems on MCGamer platforms. In my defense I asked for examples of my, apparently, inappropriate messages that I had sent over the course of the past few months, to which I was denied access as they are only to be viewed by the Administration team. I was told to be appropriate, even though it has always been my aim to remain appropriate and friendly to anyone.
The conversation continued to revolve around Team Helix. The member of Sr. staff said that my way of representing Team Helix was incorrect and that I should act as "good leaders should". I took this as a personal insult. I find that the opinion of a Sr. staff member about something unrelated to the staff team should not be expressed in an official conversation like the one we were currently in. I was, again, pointed at my attitude problems (of which I have yet to see evidence). The member of Sr. Staff told me to not talk about Team Helix in the staff team which, as the leader of the team, is impossible for me. This last statement was later explained as to avoid talking about the team, but it still felt as a restriction to my freedom of speech.
After this conversation I was deeply shocked as to what we had talked about just now. I was surprised that a member of Sr. staff was free to talk to me like this and say things I see as morally wrong. This conversation is a bigger part of the whole reason as to why I resigned.
I attempted to shake off the things said by the Sr staff member in the conversation, and continued to attempt to have fun as a mod once again. However in the days following my interview I felt as if the whole atmosphere of the staff team had changed. Prior to my resignation, most if the mods and Sr. Mods would be on TeamSpeak talking to each other. but now, many mods were hardly ever on teamspeak, and it was hard to be able to chat with them whereas before it was easy to just join a channel and talk with other mods. As for the Sr. mods, they were often not available for a simple chat which is partly understandable, but it still felt as if I could hardly talk with them.
And this brings me to my main point. The staff team, in my personal opinion, is not what it was before I resigned. I remember an energetic team where members of staff, despite their rankings and responsibilities, could have fun together. Today however, I feel as if this has changed. The team feels 'disconnected' as in there is way fewer communication to participate in and the staff team as a whole feels separated. That being said, the staff is putting an incredible amount of effort into the server every day to ensure that it keeps running, and I respect this more than I can express in a letter. The mods are amazing people and I would like to say that they are not the reason that I have resigned. I only feel as if the staff team no longer feels like home to me. This all of course is just my personally observation and I would like to stress that this may not be truth for everyone.
So to summarise, I resigned because I miss the people that I used to enjoy talking with, because of the conversation with the Sr. staff member happened the way it did, and generally the staff team no longer feels like home to me.
It was an honour to take part in the moderation of this server for well over 8 months, but now it's time for me to fully pass on the torch. Thanks to everyone in the staff team for making the experience as awesome as it was. Like with all good things, my time here has come to an end.
Thank you all for reading my letter,
Sanders
