I dig this thread. You know, just randomly logging in and finding a reason to make post. How often can that happen?
Christmas—I've never really celebrated it, but my Mother always wanted me to believe in something. She's really inspiring. I bet she has lost all hope, once she got the taste of life, so she didn't want me to get the taste of life as young as she had to. Perhaps not, just a subconscious motherly instinct, where they know their son by their look on their eyes, by the innocent and depth of them, by those little smiles you make from time to time, or whenever you cried, since little. That's psychology: understanding the human mind, and it's worth mentioning that nobody longer does, they just understand society, not humanity.
In spite of that, I do want a lot of things, but Christmas has never been a reason for gifts to me. Always was that kid that got whatever they wanted whenever it could happen, so Christmas never surprised me. Christmas never surprised me either, due that I don't have a family, and quite frankly I'm glad. I'm not very festive— Worth mentioning, but I'm just amplifying this text because It's been a long, long, long time since I made any posts in here, and because maybe it'll teach a thing or another to those boogie pricks that get everything for Christmas.
As I said, I'm boogie myself: I get all I want, whether from Christmas or not. At least I used to. You know economy, you know business and you know abulia: the moment you realize you shouldn't work hard when you could be free.
I'm from that type of household: Where I had it all, and now there's limits. And I can't blame my mother, but even herself knows there's never enough. And that's very important to know: There's never enough, unless you put a limit. And limitations are nice, but limitations don't seem like limitations when you've had the world, and all you've ever wanted, it just seems as the transcendence to a senile life-style. Almost feels like I'm old as heaven, but I already know how nice it is to have everything, but then realizing you haven't even lived at all.
In other words: Never rely on your family, always look out for yourself, and when you have it all, you will see that it's not all worth it—Though, lets be honest here, even if we all know this, we know we can't be free, thus we should work for the best we can have for we deserve it. Because I believe life's just a matter of decisions, when in reality none of these decisions is what we want, but we have to decide for something better because we have conscience, but neither decision is what we want from life, we just want freedom.
—Are you saying desire is wrong?— Nope, not at all. Text above is complex, so I'll sum it up in FAQ. lol. Desire is a style of life, but desire only comes from the unfairness life has: From how some have green eyes; others have blue eyes; how others are taller than us and others are shorter: from the unfairness, desire becomes.
—Are you saying being rich is wrong?— Nope, not at all. Life is unfair, so if you're rich, go for it. Look like you're worth it, because you are, and being rich is a step closer to socialistic freedom.
—Are you saying being poor is wrong?— Not the correct question. You should be asking whether why is it that people believe being poor is wrong. Because being poor is just an illusion, not a reality, until you make it one. But being poor isn't wrong, but believing that you're just worth what you have, that you're not worth the world for yourself and that your life is determined—born poor, die poor—that's wrong.
—So, what are you saying?—Life is freedom, but humanity imposed society so life isn't achievable. And what's the closest to freedom? Socialistic freedom. And how does one achieve so? Through money. But does money truly give it? Yes. And is money just the way? No. But an illusion and reality are different things, one is pretty, one is fake, and false hope is never the option. So believe in reality, because it's all materialistic, but that's not wrong, that's the reality we have, but that's not life. And that's why we deserve to have all that we deserve, for we aren't living, we're existing, and, yes, if we're not living we're dying.
—After all the deepness of Christmas, society and reality, what is there to do?— Nothing, but to feel like you're worth every dime you have, and have spent, but not fall content unless you've understood working hard to be free exists, but the fact that there's never enough, leads to conclude that freedom comes from oneself, and that's our own reality, even if it weren't reality itself. For as you might not know, we have a reality, OUR own reality, but this reality of us, it's not the same the reality of ALL of us, which we call society.
So, in the end, it's tricky, and I don't want to give away all life is, so I'm made this complex as heaven.
So. what do I want?— I want to be free. However, that's not possible. So I will desire the beauty of the world, for I deserve it. So, what do I want since I have to choose something else for what I truly want doesn't exists? Lol, I really don't know. I just like pretty things, but I don't desire none. But surrounding myself with beauty, makes me beauty, and I want my life to be a work of art, so I could say I want a lot. But there's not enough money to go around, so right now I just want fancy things. ahaha. Right now, I'd like to buy this jacket:
http://www.adidas.com/us/xno-windbreaker/AP1729.html
Dope as hell. That's all. ahah. Whatever makes your instance in society prettier, you go get it. just doesn't means that's truly what you want.
Oh and, hi Levi! It's been 3 years since we meet. aha. time fliesssss.
(1500TL for my country 
