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Dr. Denster's Patented Cold Sore Treatment!

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Have you ever had a Cold Sore, or a Canker Sore from eating too many Gummi Noobs?

Well, Doctor Denster has the solutions you need! Simply follow his instructions and your pain will be a memory is 72 hours!

Step 1: Find a goat.
Step 2: Kill a goat with your bare hands, by strangling it!
Step 3: Use a fork to open up the stomach of the aforementioned goat.
Step 4: Collect the goat's various organs, guts and juices and apply to face. Make sure the juices smooth well into the affected areas of your face.
Step 5: Eat the aforementioned organs and guts. This is very important, for it helps with the patented healing process
Step 6: Congratulations! You can now live your live Cold Sore-free!

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Express Treatment!

Are you a busy bee? Do you need to be on with Tokyo in 5? Is your email inbox larger than the flame on the Clan Wars threads? Than the express treatment is for you!

Step 1: Obtain a goat and a Staples Easy Button!
Step 2: Kill the goat, using the strangulation method and open it up with your fork!
Step 3: Place Easy Button inside your mouth!
Step 4: Put all of the organs, guts and juices of the goat into a specially made bag, or pouch.
Step 5: Proceed with a loved one, or yourself very carefully. Forcefully apply (beat yourself with) the bag to your face. The friction caused with the organs and the Easy Button will end all your troubles!

All steps must be followed very carefully to insure 100% customer satisfaction. Denster91 is liable for all your issues. Please PM him for further instructions!
 

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