*One Month Iron Donor Contest*Give me the most random paragraph you can possibly think of

[Zyinth | Bilzy]

Hello, my name is Bilzy. I come from the planet Alawe, in the galaxy Alawe, in the universe Alawe.
But the point is I tried. If you think you need to go to the bakery, please do so now, because I do not want to be interrupted while I tell you my story. ...but anyway, I have been thinking about my happiness lately and have come to the conclusion that I am happy. This is annoying. If you saw a chicken as happy as me, I'll replace it, and give you a full refund... no questions asked!
But that's not the point. The point is I am battery operated.
Well, actually I am not.
But that's not the point. What is the point?
"The point is everyone should have my game and timetable! screamed someone who I subsequently smacked across the face and decapitated before sending him home in a cardboard box.
Before I introduce myself, let me share with you a story. A story about me, and how great I am. But first, I think it would be appropriate to introduce myself. I am going to do this soon. So, it all started, in a smelly house, north of Alawe, south of Alawe and east of where you are sitting right now. It was a dark night, with no birds nor chickens, and it was raining a silent rain. There were too many stars to count, and not enough clouds to cover them. I like chickens. But anyway, what was I doing in this smelly house?
"I was laughing at the boxes of dog food with you, remember!?" said Stevens grandma, but she was wrong. What was I doing? That's right, I was writing this story. Now back to the story.
I needed to find something, so looked for it, and the most amazing thing happened!
I FOUND IT!!!
Guess what it was??? it was a piece of crispy bacon, which I dropped last Christmas. I thought the dog ate it, but I guess it didnt. There were many things over there where I always looked for things, but I didn't like them, so I don't know why I was always looking for them. But this thing I did like. And this thing, it liked me right back in the face.
But I don't like things that like me. They smell funny. So I made it friends with it, seduced it, then strangled it in the night and ate it's flesh. The bacon wasn't happy with this, and laughed itself to sleep. But then in the plane, he needed to go pee, so I laughed myself to sleep as he pissed himself to wake. He was definitely awake when the plane started to fall. He was definitely going to fall with the plane, and he was definitely going to get lost again. And lost he did get. Lost in the eternal sea of human sadness, lyrically beautiful without the physical countenance to outweigh it's inherent irony. And that was where he found himself, lost in an abysmal abyss... That was where he found himself.
He was taken to new levels of excitement, when he found himself. Oh what a day.... Oh ...what a day. But this was to be expected, because he was not just random. He was ranDom with a capital D. But anyway, who cares about the bacon, this story is about me.
Me and my eternal instructions of destruction from underneath. Me and my inherent understanding of the ways of the universe.
Me and my happiness.
Me and my sadness.
Me, and my bacon.

 

[RC_4777]

If I win I'll probably give my donor away.

 

[ExKing]

If I win I'll probably give my donor away.

Dude I wrote such an amazing story... I deserve it xD XD

 

[RC_4777]

Dude I wrote such an amazing story... I deserve it xD XD

I wrote an alternate perspective to an existing story with deep backstory and character development, GOML XD

 

[Otto]

Once upon a time there was a fence post named Bill. This fence post has lived by a farm for many years now, it had a mental rule "I'll live on this farm, and i'll die on this farm". But one day, another family moved into this farm, and the family decided to chop down all the fence posts to make room for more land. Well, Bill the fence post was the last one standing! So he pulled out a tricycle from his camel pouch and shot the family to death with it.

 

[Eskild]

We need your entry!! kingrecon

 

[ExKing]

I wrote an alternate perspective to an existing story with deep backstory and character development, GOML XD

I wrote my own story and everything on my own GOML.

 

[qwErtyVAsdfghN]

A man and his dog were walking along a road. The man was enjoying the scenery, when it suddenly occurred to him that he was dead. He remembered dying, and that his faithful dog had been dead for many years. He wondered where the road was leading them. After a while, they came to a high, white stone wall along one side of the road. It looked like fine marble. As he reached the wall, he saw a magnificent gate in the arch, and the street that led to the gate made from pure gold. He and the dog walked toward the gate, and as he got closer, he saw a man at a desk to one side.
When he was close enough, he called out, "Excuse me, where are we?"
"This is heaven, sir," the man answered.
"Wow! Would you happen to have some water? We have traveled far," the man said.
"Of course, sir. Come right in, and I'll have some ice water brought right up."
The man gestured, and the gate began to open.
"Can my friend," gesturing toward his dog, "come in, too?" the traveler asked.
"I'm sorry, sir, but we don't accept pets."
The man thought a moment, remembering all the years this dog remained loyal to him and then turned back toward the road and continued the way he had been going. After another long walk he came to a plain dirt road, which led through a farm gate that looked as if it had never been closed. There was no fence. As he approached the gate, he saw a man inside, leaning against a tree and reading a book.
"Excuse me!" he called to the reader. "Do you have any water? We have traveled far."
"Yes, sure, there's a faucet over there." The man pointed to a place that couldn't be seen from outside the gate. "Come on in and help yourself."
"How about my friend here?" the traveler gestured to his dog.
"There should be a bowl by the faucet; he is welcome to share."
They went through the gate, and sure enough, there was an old-fashioned faucet with a bowl beside it. The traveler filled the bowl and took a long drink himself, then he gave some to the dog. When they were full, he and the dog walked back toward the man who was standing by the tree waiting for them.
"What do you call this place?" the traveler asked.
"This is heaven," was the answer.
"Well, that's confusing," the traveler said. "The man down the road said that was heaven, too."
"Oh, you mean the place with the gold street and pearly gates? Nope. That's hell."
"Doesn't it make you mad for them to use your name like that?"
"No. We're just happy that they screen out the folks who'd leave their best friends behind in exchange for material things."
The end...............................or is it?

I've seen this already. U copied!

 

[Torchy // aezlurr]

A man and his dog were walking along a road. The man was enjoying the scenery, when it suddenly occurred to him that he was dead. He remembered dying, and that his faithful dog had been dead for many years. He wondered where the road was leading them. After a while, they came to a high, white stone wall along one side of the road. It looked like fine marble. As he reached the wall, he saw a magnificent gate in the arch, and the street that led to the gate made from pure gold. He and the dog walked toward the gate, and as he got closer, he saw a man at a desk to one side.
When he was close enough, he called out, "Excuse me, where are we?"
"This is heaven, sir," the man answered.
"Wow! Would you happen to have some water? We have traveled far," the man said.
"Of course, sir. Come right in, and I'll have some ice water brought right up."
The man gestured, and the gate began to open.
"Can my friend," gesturing toward his dog, "come in, too?" the traveler asked.
"I'm sorry, sir, but we don't accept pets."
The man thought a moment, remembering all the years this dog remained loyal to him and then turned back toward the road and continued the way he had been going. After another long walk he came to a plain dirt road, which led through a farm gate that looked as if it had never been closed. There was no fence. As he approached the gate, he saw a man inside, leaning against a tree and reading a book.
"Excuse me!" he called to the reader. "Do you have any water? We have traveled far."
"Yes, sure, there's a faucet over there." The man pointed to a place that couldn't be seen from outside the gate. "Come on in and help yourself."
"How about my friend here?" the traveler gestured to his dog.
"There should be a bowl by the faucet; he is welcome to share."
They went through the gate, and sure enough, there was an old-fashioned faucet with a bowl beside it. The traveler filled the bowl and took a long drink himself, then he gave some to the dog. When they were full, he and the dog walked back toward the man who was standing by the tree waiting for them.
"What do you call this place?" the traveler asked.
"This is heaven," was the answer.
"Well, that's confusing," the traveler said. "The man down the road said that was heaven, too."
"Oh, you mean the place with the gold street and pearly gates? Nope. That's hell."
"Doesn't it make you mad for them to use your name like that?"
"No. We're just happy that they screen out the folks who'd leave their best friends behind in exchange for material things."
The end...............................or is it?

I swear I've heard this somewhere before..

 

[RC_4777]

I wrote my own story and everything on my own GOML.

I wrote the original I made the alternate prospective to GOML

 

[csy393]

Once upon a time, in a land of melted slugs and broccoli, there lived a man. He had a very large nose that was full of snot. One day he decided to go for a walk through a field of pepper and he sneezed. All of the snot from his nose dripped out and soon the world was full of snot. Everyone screamed as they drowned in the ocean of snot. Then, the world exploded into 1 piece and everyone dissolved into Kool-aid.
(P.S. I'm not actually participating in the contest, I just felt like writing a random paragraph )

 

[soggypickle]

humpy dumpy sat on fall
humpy dumpy had great wall
all kings horses all kings men
had down syndrome