I personally have experienced depression. I have never had one close to me kill themselves, but my best friend used to hurt herself repeatedly. I also have experienced a lot of death, yet I still do not fully comprehend it. I also need to admit that I am a rather spiritually connected person.
I did not know Cole. This is the first I have heard of him. However, just from what I have read, I know he was a good and kind soul. Killing himself wasn't easy. I know he contemplated for an extremely long time before finally making the final decision. Please understand he loved his family. He might not of had the best relationship with his parents, but he still had a connection with them, it was just harder to see. He knew that his death would affect his family greatly, but at the same time, he knew his time was up here on Earth. Now, he lives with God. His spirit will always be watching over your family, and he will always love you! It is hard to imagine, but he really is standing right next to you, and in your times of need, you will know he is there. There is a feeling that occurs only when your loved-one is near (and wants you to know) and you will know exactly when you experience it. For me, my entire body gets goosebumps and I get a sudden feeling of happiness. Sometimes, I will cross my arms as if I am hugging someone and I won't be able to move them. That is my loved-one giving me a hug. Again, everyone experiences these things differently, but he will always be listening, he will always be willing to help you, and he will always be your brother. Those things will never change. I am not sure if Cole left a note when he killed himself, but I know for a fact, he was thinking of you. He will always be thinking of you. He wants you to remember the good times you had together. The moments when he was happiest. Happiness continues after death, and now Cole is happy again. It will be extremely hard, but try and listen for him. Try to feel what he is experiencing: complete happiness and amazement.
I don't know if you will actually read this, but I really truly hope it helped in some way. Please try praying to God and asking for help if you need it. Everyone on the forums is here for you, too. I can't answer all questions, but I can always try. If you have any please just send me a PM.
I am sorry that Cole is no longer on the physical Earth, but you will see him again, I promise.
Best wishes and condolences,
~Ashley Lynn or 523ashley
